Questions and Answers - The Maid of Honor

The Maid of Honor

It is truly an honor to be chosen by the Bride as her Maid of Honor. This title is usually reserved for a sister or best friend because the Maid of Honor has to be trusted to act in the best interest of the Bride. A good Maid of Honor will take a leadership role, be always punctual and follow through with everything asked of her (as well as many things not asked of her). A good Maid of Honor will sense when she is needed and stay out of sight when she is not. A good Maid of Honor will put the Bride's wishes ahead of her own.

What are the "duties" of the Maid of Honor?

"Maid of Honor" is not just a title. There are many responsibilities a Maid of Honor should take with the wedding -- from the planning stage through the wedding reception. The Bride will be so involved during the wedding planning stage and during the actual ceremony that she will rely heavily on her Maid of Honor. Although not all weddings follow the same rules, generally and traditionally speaking, the following are suggestions on how the Maid of Honor can assist her Bride.

Help the bride with research and finding resources for wedding essentials.
Plan the Bachelorette Party.
It's quite common for the Maid of Honor to seek help from the Bridesmaids with the planning and cost of the bachelorette party. It's the role of the Maid of Honor to organize the party and, along with the bride, decide a venue, date and time. More about the Bachelorette Party...
Plan the Bridal Shower.
Again, the Maid of Honor may rely on help from the bridesmaids with this. Regardless of what type of shower it is, the Maid of Honor should take the leadership role and organize the event. She will be responsible for a major portion of the cost of the shower but bridesmaids should also chip in. More about the Bridal Shower...
Serve as a liaison between the Bride and Groom on the day of the wedding.
It is said to be bad luck for the Groom to see the Bride in her wedding dress before she walks up the aisle and many couples follow this age-old tradition. A Maid of Honor acts as a liaison between the Bride and Groom, meeting with the Best Man to exchange messages from one to the other. Another tradition is for the Bride to give the Groom a special gift before the wedding and vice-versa. The Maid of Honor will carry the Groom's gift to the Best Man and receive the Bride's gift in exchange.
Be the watchdog - literally speaking.
It's your responsibility to watch the clock and keep your Bride on schedule. Get her dressed and to the alter on time.
Give a gift to the Bride.
It's good etiquette for the Maid of Honor to give a heart-felt gift to the Bride on her wedding day. It doesn't have to cost a lot. The thought is truly what matters. Choose something that holds special meaning to both of you. Here are some gift ideas from me: Express your friendship with a personalized friendship candle. Do you have a special picture of the two of you? Frame it in a personalized frame. Your gift cal also be "something blue".
Be the boss.
Take charge of the bridesmaids and use them as your staff to get things done. Send them on errands or have them help you with decorations, wedding preparations and planning. A bridesmaid should be willing to help so use her. At the same time, it is your role to make sure the bridesmaids are at the church (or chapel) on time and that they have all they need to perform their duties.
Toast the New Couple
It is highly appropriate for the Maid of Honor to toast the new couple during the rehearsal dinner and also during the wedding reception. Take your cue from the Best Man who, by tradition, gives the first toast. Save the "roast toast" for the bachelorette party and say something loving and from the heart.
Dance.
After the couple's first dance as man and wife and after the bride has danced with her father the floor will be open to guests. Often the guests are shy and, unless the alcohol has flowed heavily, they will be hesitant to get out on the dance floor. Ask guests to dance. Take the hand of an older gentleman (whom you may not even know) and lead him onto the dance floor.
Prepare the Gift Thank You List
When the bride and groom open the gifts from the wedding it would be so nice for them to have something already prepared on which to post what gift they received from whom. Here's a couple of suggestions for you to do beforehand: Make an index card for every guest (by family or couple) and place them in an index file in alphabetical order by last name. The bride and groom can easily pull the card and write down what gift was given so that they can send a thank you card. A list of names in alphabetical order can work as long as you leave enough space in between the names to write in.